AITA? Do I owe an apology to colleagues?
A 30 something yo lady is going through a difficult breakup with her long term BF (Lady #1). She has been confiding in another 30 something (Lady #2). I am 60 something, not sure if ages matter. The confidante came to me and asked about getting Lady #1 a therapist "she needs someone to talk to", "she needs help". I arrange for referrals so she can see someone who is good quickly. Lady#2, keeps walking around work saying "she needs help" and "he is a grrrrr" and never finishes but it is enough that I know this is not an amicable breakup. I see the two of them talking privately a lot so I think personal business is being shared and Lady #1 is getting support. Lady #1 came to me and said BF had been inappropriate to her and was know holding her things hostage. I check out the situation with my resources and find it rises to the level of her qualifying for a restraining order, which she gets. I quietly kept checking in to make sure she got her order "did you get that taken care of", being generic, but making sure she was safe. One day Lady #2 said something about the BF being inappropriate and I say something like "at least she got her restraining order" in passing.
That led to Lady #2 going to Lady #1 and saying I had made her uncomfortable by mentioning the restraining order as she saw it as personal business. Apparently she had not known, but since I see them talking and Lady #2 keeps saying things like "he is an a--hole" and "she needs help", it never occurred to me she didn't know.
I then get a text from Lady #! telling me I had made #2 uncomfortable and to not spread her business, she isn't telling many people around here about her personal life. I was absolutely shocked as I know 30 seconds of her business and as far I knew hadn't said anything inappropriate.
I found out today, it was because of mentioning the TRO to Lady#2. I honestly thought she knew and to me, they aren't things that are usually secrets. Maybe I have been in this line of work too long? They are public information and usually survivors are open, even relieved, to have one in place so they tell confidantes. Since I knew Lady#2 was a confidante, she seemed to know the gravity of the situation, and TROs are public I don't feel like I did anything wrong and this is being blown out of proportion. Do I owe an apology to one or both of them?