AITA for not being grateful for my birthday surprise

I have been crying for hours yesterday and today, receiving texts on how I am ungrateful. This shit just doesn't make sense to me. I am trying to see the good intentions, but call me blind because I don't see any.

I have never had a birthday party or dinner, and it is something that I have always wanted, but I don't know why I always thought it was unattainable in my adult life. I was talking to my friend and telling her how my family never celebrates birthdays because my dad is really religious and how I always feel lonely on my birthday. She asked me why I didn't celebrate my birthday now that I was an adult, and I thought, Yeah, why don't I celebrate myself now that I am grown? I planned myself a birthday dinner at a fancy restaurant and told everyone that as long as they kept their order under $35, I would pay for it. So I made sure to work overtime for 3 months in advance because I heard there is always a fight about the bill, so I didn't want that to be a reason for conflict on my birthday. I invited 12 people that said they would come (family and friends, which include my mom now that my dad is dead; she is no longer super religious for some reason). 

Yesterday I had my nails, makeup, and hair done professionally. I just wanted to look really nice, and I have actually only been to formal events like three times in my life, so I was happy to be able to dress up nicely for once. I got to my dinner, sat at my table, and waited 2 hours, and I kept getting calls from people, telling me they were running late to not being able to come anymore. And after 2 hours,, everyone finally told me they were not coming.. They didn't tell me before the dinner; they were all telling me at the time of reservation or later. The waiter felt so bad because I was crying while I was on the phone with someone I considered to be my friend, telling me she wasn't coming for me and that even though I didn't order a meal, he gave me a free birthday slice. I didn't even get any pictures in my outfit because I thought someone would help take them for me at the restaurant, and by the time I left the restaurant, my makeup was ruined.

My mom called me on my way home and asked me to stop at her house because she had a present for me. She says she is sorry she didn't come, but she was feeling extremely unwell, and she wanted to have a present at least. I go to her house, and I open the door to a surprise, and people see that my face was messed up because I had been crying, so someone says, "Aww, she thought we forgot her," and I look at the 12 people that were invited to my dinner and am just disappointed that they traded what I wanted for my birthday for this. They left me stranded and humiliated at a restaurant for hours. I left the surprise party after 5 minutes and just told my mom to keep her present to herself. 

I am sorry, but AITa, for not seeing a good intention here, Am I overreacting??