I’m getting married and my husband DOESN'T want me to take his last name!
I (F26) am a respected nuclear scientist with several advanced degrees and have published multiple articles and several books about the field I’m respected in, that is nuclear science. My boyfriend (M40) of 10 years who makes 3.7x what I do, (and has a significant trust fund) proposed to me last month and I was over the moon! All of our seven kids were excited, too.
The problem is that when I started filling out the forms to change my name after the wedding (his name is Wainright Rockefeller-Vanderbilt III) he stopped me and said we should discuss it. He said that I was a respected atom scientist and that I should keep my current name (Virginia Huffelpuffinstuff that I’ve only had it two years but that’s because of some past trauma). I brushed the whole conversation off at the time as just being “wedding jitters” or maybe hormones.
But later I was searching through his phone and discovered a chat with his parents where they were laughing at my maiden name and saying I wasn’t good enough to wear the Rockefeller-Vanderbilt name! I was so mad! I immediately confronted my husband. He immediately confessed to thinking that I wasn’t good enough to be an R-V and ran into the bathroom crying. I then left the house and went to my brother‘s house and he held me while I cried the whole night and fell asleep cuddled in his loving arms.
In the morning, I immediately filed for a divorce, and of course called off the wedding.
Now my phone is blowing up! He’s called 167 times in the last hour and his parents are texting me constantly telling me I’m the AH because Wainright has ADHD and is of course the golden child. AITA for cancelling the wedding?
UPDATE
Thanks everyone for all the DMs and good advice! I now understand the whole name thing was just a ruse for him to push my boundaries and gaslight me!
UPDATE2
Some people in the comments are saying this post isn’t true! Let me assure you that EVERY word I’ve written is 100% extremely TRUE and FACTUAL! Really, who would ever go on Reddit and AITAH and make up fake stories? I just can’t imagine a world where something like that would ever even be allowed.
Also, my advanced degrees are a masters and PhD in quantum physics from the Sorbonne Institute in France. But you can’t look them up because the website is in French.