AIO? Fiancé Switches Up, Seems to be Punishment.

TLDR: For context, yesterday we got into an argument over a joke I made and it disrupted the entire day.

The long of it is our day was his grandpa’s, mall to look at jewelry finally as this was my Christmas gift, then to see Kraven or another action movie (or just whatever was available that we haven’t seen since we have AMC A-List). I have psoriasis on my scalp & needed to wash my hair, so he said I could come shower first once we finished at grandpa’s.

At grandpa’s a new store came up, jokes about going all these places I want to go ensued, and we were going to stop there for me to grab a fruit tart.

Because of my pain levels I went to get in the passenger seat, and he asked me to drive so he could play Switch instead but had to go inside for his jacket. At this point I made a joke about jumping in the passenger seat and did. When he came back out he went to get in the driver’s seat and I said something along the lines of “Oh it was that easy? Dang, okay.” and proceeded to show my map hooked up, saying I was actually jk and going to drive. He was moody and refused to get out.

Then at the store, refused to go inside. I said never mind then, let’s just go home. This created a back and forth and ultimately I ended up driving anyways. We called a mediator, and we’re supposed to get off the phone to go finish our afternoon.

At that point, he said that he never intended to come back home for me to shower despite saying it, and that I should have known he meant that I could shower after grandpa’s but that it wasn’t “first” before going back to town. That he didn’t want to be on the road all day. (40-60 minutes max each way.) And that I should know that he wouldn’t want to be out on a work night. (Despite multiple previous instances of him suggesting movies late on work nights.) I shouldn’t be sad because we could plan to go do these things another day. We didn’t need to go to the city for the movies.

FF to today, conversation seems okay and then BOOM! I get a text about going to see a completely different movie before going to see the one we’ve been talking about going to, that I missed last night because he didn’t want to be out late on a work night. This seems to be common after arguments, so I pointed out to him that it feels like it’s intended to be a punishment or even a test of some sort.

Am I overreacting? Given previous way of doing things, and just being nice in my opinion, if you make plans and they fall through you should do those before doing something similar. (If that makes sense.) Like I wouldn’t bail on coffee with my neighbor, but then go get coffee with another neighbor.