The loneliness is crushing

He had been doing so well. Went almost a year totally sober. Tried to drink again over summer and it turned into the slippery slope we all know and hate. After a few months of the same ole same ole he quit again. Now, Christmas Eve, and he get drunk at his family function and it’s so embarrassingly noticeable. I call him on it because as I’ve told him I’m not living in silence anymore. He got so angry, and told me he was fine and insisted he drive home. He kept it together long enough to get home and then it showed how far gone he was.

If I leave him, my kids spend 50% of their time with a mean and condescending drunk who can’t get his life together to be an example of what a man should be. If I stay, I have a lonely existence of constantly checking bank accounts, stash spots, and running interference on the nights he decides to drink.

I hate it here.