Dating Realization

I should start this post with letting you all know that last year I fell hard for someone - only hung out for a month and she took everything out of me when it came to feelings. Being with her felt so good, even when the feelings weren’t reciprocated. It eventually ended because I bought in too fast and pushed her away. At least that’s what I think - what she told me was even tho I made her feel so special and that I’m so kind, she didn’t feel a spark.

Fast forward to a year later and I’ve met someone new - she’s cool, pretty and emotional stable and we’ve been getting along great. Time will tell if it will be a long term thing.

I was worried at first because the initial feeling didn’t feel anything like it did with that last girl. I had immediate anxiety when she wouldn’t text me back in a timely manner or just in general when I couldn’t get a good read on her.

With this new girl, I don’t feel that at all and it worried me because for the longest time I was confusing that anxiety with feelings of her being the one and I had to do everything in my power to do my best to make it work.

The realization I came to is that if you get that anxiety while dating, like always wondering what they’re up to or when they’re going to reach out or if they’re talking to other people, try to remember that is most likely your subconscious letting you know that you should not continue down this road.

Dating is incredibly hard and frustrating but at the same time it should feel effortless with the person you’re interested in. It should not be accompanied by negative emotions and overthinking.

Edit: I know my attachment style is anxious - I'm not denying that. I just don't know if the new girl is someone I legit having feelings for or if she just makes me feel secure.