AITA for not attending my brothers wedding?

lol I saw this community on YouTube and thought my situation was perfect for this.

Anyways, I (23F) have a brother (26M) who recently got married in a wedding I purposely did not attend, which I’m now receiving backlash from some of my family for. A little context, my brother and I have never been close growing up due to him being mentally abusive. He came out as gay when he was 19 and I was 16 which made everything worse. He was envious about almost everything I had going on in my life, ESPECIALLY in the Romantic aspect.

When I was 17, I had a boyfriend and my brother did not like that fact at all. He used to try and convince me I was getting cheated on, being used or that my boyfriend was out of my league. It was all ridiculous but eventually i believed it and broke up with my then boyfriend. That’s just an example.

(I was extremely emotionally vulnerable and insecure back then so don’t criticise me)

Anyways, he ended up finding a man to settle down with who is now my BIL (30M) who is thankfully a kind soul. Before they had their wedding last week, I made it clear that I would not be attending unless my brother apologised for the years of torment he put me through. As any narcissist would, he denied the claim that he was mentally abusive at all, saying “I won’t apologise for doing something I never did.”

I told him If that was the case, I would not be attending his wedding. He accused me of not supporting him and said I was childish for holding onto the past. I told him that was not the case at all and that just because someone doesn’t like you as person, it doesn’t make them homophobic.

Out of respect for my BIL, I sent him a text informing him that I would not be attending the wedding. I also congratulated and offered him my love and support for his milestone. I haven’t told anyone the true reason on why I did not attend other than my mother and she isn’t taking my side nor his.

She struggled raising us a single mother and was too busy to notice what was going on between us, so I don’t blame her. Some of my cousins reached out to me and called me selfish for not being there which I ignored but I know I seem like a bitch to all of them. I also feel like my BIL has no idea what he’s in for but maybe my brother just had an agenda towards me personally.

Edit- Some of y’all are having a field day thinking that the only thing he did was ‘make me break up with my boyfriend in high school’ That was an example to my claim about his envy. He belittled me and manipulated me into believing that I was worthless which lead to depression and isolation throughout my entire teenage years. Don’t assume you know everything from this short piece.

Edit- Also, I understand I should’ve attempted to resolve it earlier and I used beat myself up everyday building the courage to but we were mainly no contact so I didn’t think it mattered, if neither of us were planning to have a healthy relationship. The reason I brought it up before the wedding is because I thought it would open up a new chapter and we could move past it and build our relationship. Especially because he was adamant on me attending.