AITA for being unable to handle someone's crying?

So, I go to group therapy three times a week, and have been going for over a year. It's similar to an IOP program. I've been going ever since I was hospitalized for Schizophrenia.

I deal with a lot of paranoia due to the schizophrenia. I feel as if I'm constantly under surveillance and fear getting in trouble for laws I broke over the course of my childhood.

After quiting hard drugs, it feels like there's no release from my paranoia. Luckily, my symptoms have decreased over time and I now deal mostly with "residual schizophrenia" as opposed to paranoid schizophrenia.

All of this has turned me rather cold emotion-wise. I cried once after a psychotic panic attack a year and a half ago, but before then it's been many years since a cried.

In my group therapy program, there's a girl who is just always on the boundary of tears.

While my thoughts on this are rather nuanced, my knee-jerk reaction is "if only she understood what I was going through" and "if she dealt with what I have to endure, she wouldn't be able to handle it at all". As shitty as it sounds, this has made me rather frustrated with her. I know it sounds selfish, but I just can't deal with the fact that from my perspective, she's doing so much better than me yet she's always crying.

Now, when I consciously think about this, I feel that she is probably doing her best. She's likely trying as hard as anyone else and doesn't deserve to hurt. She didn't choose this life. It's not her fault that crying is her coping mechanism. We're all just doing what we can. Deep down, I feel very bad for her and hope she can find some level of happiness. I seriously do.

That being said, subconsciously I feel very impatient with her and feel almost revolted by her crying.

I have empathy for her, for real, but I can't help but feel annoyed by her.

Am I an asshole for this? I don't want to be so spiteful, and I try to deeply consider other people's feelings. It can just be hard to truly understand someone without deep perspective of their struggle and there's clearly aspects of her life that I don't understand.

Am I a bad person?