AITAH for cutting my daughter off completely when she was 18?

I (44m) have a daughter, Jess (18f), with my ex-wife, Mary (44f).

Mary and I had a tumultuous relationship. Six years ago, when Jess was 12, we came to the mutual decision to get a divorce after Mary had an emotional (and most likely physical, although she never admitted to it) affair with her co-worker.

Some of the fault for the divorce probably lay with me, but in all honestly, I would call it at least 90% Mary’s fault. I believe that she suffers from BPD, but she never made any effort to get treated, despite my urging her and promising to pay for therapy.

After our divorce, Jess more or less became something of a problem child, which I totally understood. I did everything in my power to create strict boundaries and reasonable rules within our house, but the second that she went back to her mother’s house, Mary would let her do whatever she wanted. I paid child support during this period, which amounted to about $800/month.

When Jess was 14, she got caught with drugs at school. On our way home, I explained to her that she should be thanking her lucky stars she wasn’t expelled, and that her punishment would involve no devices. The return of said devices would be contingent on her behavior and grades improving.

That was the last time Jess came to my house. When she went back to her mother’s, she henceforth refused to even get in the car when I went to pick her up. The reason was clear: Mary let her do whatever she wanted without repercussion, while I would hold her accountable.

Mary got quasi-full custody, despite it not being court-mandated. I upped child support payments in response because I wanted to take care of my daughter.

In December, Jess turned 18. I haven’t spoken to her in a year. Mary texted me frantically a few days ago about child support, and I simply responded that Jess was 18. She then tore into me about “abandoning” my child.

Jess made a TikTok about having a “deadbeat dad” the next day, probably with Mary’s encouragement, as she knows I check her social media. There were a lot of fabricated details in the story, but I wonder if I was an asshole for just leaving them high and dry there.