AITA for telling someone that his “friend” never liked him and wouldn’t want him at his funeral?

Okay, here we go. Me (21F) and my boyfriend (23M) know this guy who we’ll call Kevin (24M). I do not like being around Kevin, at all, but my boyfriend is friends with him so he’ll occasionally get invited to our house for group hang outs.

Kevin is autistic, but he’s high functioning. He is self sufficient, works a full time job, etc. It is by no means a disability to him, just makes him weird in social situations. For example, he will continuously pursue women and follow them around no matter how much they keep trying to walk away from them and no matter how obvious they make it that they’re uncomfortable. He assumes they’re just mad at him for some reason and will come on even stronger and bother them more and more as an attempt to make them “not mad at him”. When they come right out and tell him they don’t like him and to leave them alone, he gets mad and yells and blows up/storms off.

Well the other day, a friend my boyfriend and I’s named Tyler passed away due to an OD. Tyler hated Kevin, mostly because Kevin has a tendency to go after MINORS romantically. Yes, like 15 and 16 year old girls. He has been in trouble with the law over it but they typically decide he has autism and is mentally around that age anyways so they let him off since he didn’t force the girls to do anything. It’s disgusting, and one of the main reasons I don’t like him, besides the being weirdly clingy and overbearing/creepy towards me and other girls. He will blow up and get angry if women do not agree to go out to his camp with him, even if they’ve never met him before.

When Tyler died, Kevin went around telling everyone (even strangers) that one of his close friends just died and inviting people to his funeral. I warned Tyler’s family about this. They decided he is not allowed at Tyler’s funeral because Tyler always hated him, they told me to please let him know that he isn’t welcome there, and weren’t sure why he ever thought he would be in the first place considering Tyler and Kevin had only ever spoken in passing for about 5 minutes TWICE in their lives, many years ago, and Tyler hated him once he found out about Kevin’s “minor habits”.

The next time that Kevin tried to invite a stranger at the bar to Tyler’s funeral, I interrupted and pulled Kevin aside, and told him he wasn’t invited to the funeral and that Tyler’s family didn’t want him there. He got very huffy and mad and said that Tyler would want him there. I told him that Tyler’s family doesn’t want him there, and that he should respect it. At this point he started causing a scene in the bar and people were staring, he said Tyler’s family has no right to keep them apart and began yelling. At this point, I was frustrated at his entitlement. I told him that no, Tyler wouldn’t want him there either and I didn’t understand why he kept trying to tell people they were friends. I told him Tyler didn’t like him, and rightfully so. He yelled “fuck you, I’m going to that funeral” and stormed out of the bar.

I messaged Tyler’s family about it and they thanked me for trying but let me know security will be kicking him out if he shows up. I later on got some angry texts from some mutual friends telling me that I didn’t need to be that harsh towards Kevin and that I know he doesn’t understand social situations so I need to be gentle, and if anything I’m being ableist. I told them that yes, I understand that Kevin’s autism makes it impossible for him to take a hint, which is why I just had to be straight up and say it out right or else he wouldn’t have understood. Maybe I was harsh, but he isn’t welcome at the funeral and he needs to know that. Tyler would probably roll over in his coffin if Kevin showed up at that funeral. So, AITA?