Happy belated birthday I guess

Disclaimer: I have ASS, suffer from depression with suicide ideations.

My birthday is in August. Last year I had to work a closing shift (restaurant) and it was chaotic as hell. New coworker was running around doing everything except the things we were supposed to be doing, then they disappeared. I was left on my own and suddenly right at the time I'm supposed to be leaving the floor (but couldn't because there were still at least three or four tasks to be completed) the lights were shut off. I used my phone light to allow me to finish one task, leave the others and go home.

Due to personal experience (parents forgetting my birthday, friends and family making excuses not to come over when I invite them to celebrate etc) I don't like my birthday. That year my parents didn't remember again. So I was already feeling bummed out. Then the closing shift from hell happened.

Now, this job is supposed to be one of the better employers. For example, they give you something small on your birthday (or in the week of your birthday when you don't work on your actual birthday). My coworkers who had their birthdays in the weeks leading up to my own, all received something. I didn't. Not even a "happy birthday".

I was already suffering from depression and this day kind of pushed me over the edge into crisis. I actually told two managers about the fact that even the workplace, who prides themselves on giving everyone something for their birthday, didn't remember my birthday apparently. No reaction (aside from the well meaning advice that I need to learn to go with the flow).

This year I decided I wanted to take a few days off around my birthday. It's already going to be a stupid day, and I don't want to risk another crash because of a bad work day on top. I put in 3 days of my PTO, with the actual reasoning attached in my motivation. Yesterday my manager came into the room I was working in and said "Happy birthday" giving me the voucher dated for my birthday last August. Then he left promptly. Didn't even have time to react.

I get now that it was a consolation price for the fact that they denied me those three days in August because three other workers were already approved for their major vacations. We normally get 20 days of PTO a year (mandatory to use them) and 14 days PTO is counted as a major holiday. Apparently my 3 days in August also count as a major holiday in their eyes and since there are already 3 people on longer leave I'm not allowed to go on leave for those 3 days.

But hey, I did receive the birthday present, albeit 7 months later!